Must be .

Ever wonder, if you can cuddle up in one corner cry out all you
can as much as you want. I wish i could, i wish i would.
Sometime's i would shed a tear of friends, family everything
i have, i wish for, all those thing that belongs to me close .
Why would a tear bring me down so easily, i wish i could.
There's thing i always wish for, something that makes me
happy makes me laughing like some kind of psycho maniac.
But i just couldn't bring up a proper smile of mine which belongs
deep inside of me, hidden long time ago. I've just to fake a perfect smile
for everyone to see, just to leave a impression of me being ' happy ' .
Yah, happy for the time being only. I would just jump of from my flat,
nine storey high i want to have a view of what's death could be jumping of
from a high floor. But do i have the guts, no. I'm just helpless,
a fool underneath a cow dung. No one's gonna appreciate it or what i'm
going to be. I just simply hate it, let me out from my within .

I want to be the proper me, Ryan .